At his condominium, he sat down on the piano and began taking part in. I watched from the sofa, pinballing between anticipation and terror.
The day’s conversations had satisfied me of our compatibility — we each wished lives of journey with adventurous youngsters underfoot — however I knew that inside seconds our fantasies of one another would give option to the truth of pores and skin and breath. I prayed that our first contact would really feel electrical. I didn’t want fireworks to start a relationship, however I all of a sudden feared that he did.
The following day, mendacity in mattress with our legs entangled, he stated that he felt anxious. After a primary date as excellent as ours, he anticipated to really feel elated, however as an alternative he sensed an inexplicable hesitation. He wanted time to suppose.
The rejection got here per week later, by way of a tenderly written e mail. Our relationship felt 90 p.c proper, proper sufficient that we may fall in love, however unsuitable sufficient that it could by no means final. We must always finish it earlier than the inevitable break up bought harder. It’s not that there have been any obvious incompatibilities, and he had by no means skilled an mental connection as highly effective as ours, however one thing was lacking.
I learn the e-mail in mattress, grateful that there was no cop to see me crying. When my tears dried, I sank into my pillow, closed my eyes and was overcome by the conviction that this complete lacking feeling factor was a rip-off — or, at finest, a well mannered excuse, a innocent option to finish issues.
There’s a Sufi story I really like concerning the smart idiot, Mullah Nasreddin. It goes like this: Darkness had fallen, and Nasreddin had misplaced his keys. He knelt by a lamppost, looking. A good friend joined him, and after an extended whereas, requested, “The place precisely did you lose the keys?” “In my home,” Nasreddin stated. The good friend stated, “What? In your own home? Why are we wanting right here?” To which Nasreddin replied, “There may be extra gentle right here.”
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